Shes Jokes

Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Yo mama so fat.

In Super Mario Galaxy, she was a fucking planet!

Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Why were her hands purple?

She heard it through the grapevine.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

Yo mama so stupid. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.

Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?

Winona Hider.

A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

"What are you doing all day?"

"Knot a lot."

Do you know who Helen Keller is?

Neither did she.