You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
Yo mama’s so fat, she wore the equator as a belt! Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
Yo mama is so old that she was born on the first day the universe existed.
Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."
Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”
Yo mama so old, she got nostalgia for the Big Bang!
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
"Yo mama so fat, she thought Saturn was deez nuts."
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
