She jokes

There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.

Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!

Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.

Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.

Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.

A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?" She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers." The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?" The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!" "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?" The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."

Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?

..... She had cancer.... ;)