She jokes
A girl named Kariah was at a night club. She was twerking and shaking, but she was just there for fun with her friends until some guy named Jaden came up to her and started flirting with her.
Jaden: WOW Girl!
Kariah: What?
Jaden: It's just that a sexy girl like you should be having sex, not begging for sex!
Kariah: Okay, listen pimp, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you around me one bit!
Jaden grabbed her hips with such FORCE!
Jaden: Come on, let's go somewhere...private! And have a good time, a fun time!
Kariah slapped him and left the night club, telling her friends she was gone, leaving a tip for the drinks she bought.
Daina: Hey, what's wrong?
Mary: Yeah!
Greg: Sweetie...tell us.
Ariana: Come on...did someone try to touch you in a weird way?!
Kariah wanted to tell them but couldn't; it was too personal.
Kariah: Uh I have to go...it's way passed my curfew! Love you!
Kariah sighed and waited for a cab down by Heyo street. Then a cab man started dirty talking her...DIRTY!
Cab man: Hey, sexy lady! Where are you going?...need a...wow...whoohoo...dang...ride?
Kariah rolled her eyes then stuck her tongue out at the cab man. This fucking cab men said this.
Cab man: Ooooo...use that for the sex!
Kariah: I don't think so!
Cab man: ha uh ha... I see the way your looking at me I know you like me!
Kariah walks away from him and finds another cab, but the cab man did not take her mean talk and weird silents for an answer. Instead, the cab man got out of his "Cab" and harrowed around her.
Cab man: HEY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING!?
Kariah: TO MY KIDS AND MY HUSBAN! SO GET LOST BITCH!!!!
You see Kariah was married, she just came to be with her friends at a night club. Cab man gets close to her so she ran...she ran as fast as she could till she tripped on her high heels, once the cab man got close to her he picked her up...I think you know what he did okay I'll tell you. Cab man picked her up and took her back to the cab a.k.a taxi of course she was not gonna give up without a fight...will she gave up!
Cab man: I know ya like me! I just know it! You dressed up in a hoochie and sluty dress for nothing will wrong you LIKE ME maybe love if we get lucky!
He drove her to his house and then took off his cloths "underware included" got on top of her and "Rape was born again". Kariah did not remember a thing that night only that she was forced agianst her will too will have "S.E.X"
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin' B. Anthony!
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!! 😂🤣
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.