She jokes

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?

No, and neither did she.

Yo mama so fat, when she play a game, everybody lags.

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!

Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

Yo mama so small that she tried to hike Mountain Dew.

My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Yo momma's so fat, she was the iceberg in the Titanic.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.