My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
Me: I call my girl Cinderella.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because she loves balls.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!
Jo Mama is so dumb, she tried to eat the Super Bowl.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!
Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
Why can't orphans become a criminal? Because she isn't wanted
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.
Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
