What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Eat my butt.
Fuck off!
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
I sucked a dick.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
you.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
