Sex jokes
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
My sex life.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?
There's 20 of them.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
There are more than two genders.
Who likes eating ass?
My Little Pony.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.
My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.