Sex jokes
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
My sex life.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.