What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
I hate myself.
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me....
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
