Self-esteem jokes

He: "I love you."

Me: "I love myself too."

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.

If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.

I love myself.

I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."

I am a beautiful person.

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.

If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

You wanna see a joke? Look in a mirror.

I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.

Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."

So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"

And then she died.

I love my name.

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.

So I treat everyone like garbage.

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.