Seen Jokes

I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"

She started crying.

Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Riddles not jokes.

What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

What has bark but no bite?

There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

What has holes but can carry water?

What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

What can you catch but not throw?

And last one:

What can rule, but not command?

Tell me the answers in the comments.

Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.

Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

Why have I not seen these posters in my neighbourhood?

A poster on a wooden pole reads "Pleasuring yourself with a vape? Try masturbation instead. Masturbation alone or with a friend is a great safe alternative to vaping." There is also a website "WhatsInAVape.com" and "THE REAL COST" on the poster.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"

Ever seen twins?

If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?

I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.

So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.

One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.