Sea jokes
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
What did the fish say to the beach?
"Long tide, no see!"
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
Why was the kid's report card all wet?
Because it was below "sea" level.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?
Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."