Sea jokes
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?
Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.
The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”
What do you call a fish with no booty?
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.