School jokes
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.