School jokes

What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?

Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"

Student: "I'm not going."

Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"

"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."

What do you call a bus full of stoners?

The Magic School Bus.

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she died by a flying brick!

"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?

A: Lazy bones.

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"

Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."

The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."

The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.

I fell in love with my teacher.

Which is weird because I am home schooled.