School Jokes

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

Funny Test Answers #8

A test question asks to suggest one cause of deforestation. The answer given is "this paper".

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.

My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.

What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.

What do you call a short person that goes to school?

A Sammie.

I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

But it’s quite pointless.

Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"

Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”

And then you die inside.

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”

Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?

He mist.

The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.

Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"