School jokes

What is the difference between a human and a human rights act and a walk home and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and a wheelchair to wheelchair and wheelchair to wheelchair for wheelchair home night time to a home was fun at home night was the day I had dinner is it fun for me I was going to be a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home night time?

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

Lots of blood tests!

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil? That's okay. There is really no point to it.

Why was eight afraid of seven? Because 7, 8, 9!

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!

Are multiple choice questions too easy?

A) Yes.

My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."

Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"

So, one day I was walking home from school with my best friend, Sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that Bob, the class rep, got her pregnant eight months ago, and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said, “Sally, it’ll be okay, I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson.” “Yeah, thanks, Suzy,” she said to me, then went into her house.

The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school, so I was like, oh, she must be in trouble with her mom. I’ll go check on her.

So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands. “Oh, hello. Is that Sally’s son?!! Can I see Sally?” Her mom says sure, and I go inside, but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone. “Here lies Sally 2004-2020.” So I ask her mom in tears, “Oh, did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied, “You could say that...”

Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,

Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.