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School jokes

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

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    • Bully: "You are so stupid!"

    Classmate: does nothing.

    Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"

    Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."

    A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.

    The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"

    A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

    A boy throws his bag out the window.

    The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

    The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

    One time, there was a happy little girl. One day, her teacher asked how many legs and arms a pineapple have. She said,

    "You know those pokey things on it? That's how many."

    Teacher says, "That's dumb. They have zero." Then the next day, the girl set a fire in her house, and she burned her legs and arms. Then she survived and went to school. Then the teacher said, "I heard your house went on fire, and by the way, you know you don't have no arms or legs, right?" The girl said, "OK." Then the teacher asked the question the teacher asked yesterday again. She said, "What do you call a girl with no legs or arms?" The teacher said, "Answer my question!" The girl said, "OK, OK, the girl said 13." The teacher said, "Pineapples do not even have legs!"

    Then the teacher had to calm down. Then the teacher said to the girl, "Ask a question. Whatever you want." Then the girl said, "Ok, and I'm sorry, teacher." Teacher said, "It's ok, I need a break." The girl said, "What do you call a girl without legs or arms?" Someone from the class, her name was Nia, she said, "A worm." She said, "NO!!!" The teacher said, "Calm down. Just tell us what!" The girl said, "OK then." The girl said it.......

    And y'all who is reading my story, guess what the answer is before I tell you and by the way the girl's name is Sunny. Back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE! Then when the teacher was calm, she told her to sit down. Then the teacher read a story, "The Three Little Pigs." Then the girl went home, she got a new house, then lived happily ever after.

    I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

    Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going out and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home, and I will get back with him tomorrow morning.

    Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.

    Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf

    Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.

    (Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)

    I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.

    Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

    Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

    The teacher is asking you a question.

    Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"

    Me: "Dead."

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