School Bus jokes

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.

What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.

Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.

Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”

Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”

What do you call a bruised banana?

A school bus full of his kids.

What's yellow and can't float?

A school bus full of children.

What is yellow and brings kids to school every day?

So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.

So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”

What’s yellow and can’t swim??

A school bus with elementary kids.

Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.

What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?

You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of screaming children.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of dead babies.

What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌

What brings kids to school every day?

A school bus 🚌.

My field trip at school earlier:

Little Timmy (angrily): "I WANT MY IPAD!"

Ms. Melina: "We can have it at school if you turn your day around."

Little Timmy: "BUT I WANT IT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"

Ms. Melina: "But we're heading back to school."

Little Timmy: "B**TCH, I HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING HOME!"

Little Timmy *starts banging the bus window*

Little Timmy: "THAT’S IT, I F**KING HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING TO CANADA!"

Ms. Melina: "TIMMY, STOP IT! THE SCHOOL IS GONNA MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT WINDOW IF YOU BREAK IT!"

Me: "Let’s just tell his family to move to Shadow Bay anyways because Red Oaks would be so f**king good for him."

*Window breaks*

Ms. Melina: "STOP THAT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"

Little Timmy: "BUT JEFFY AND JUNIOR ARE PICKING ME UP AND TAKING ME TO F**KING CANADA RIGHT NOW! LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE!"

Ms. Melina: "THAT’S IT TIMMY, YOU'RE SO F**KING BUSTED! I’M CALLING MS. ALEJANDRA RIGHT NOW!"

The end.

Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Why can orphans not go on field trips? They need a parent signature.

What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

They always line up.