Scale

Scale Jokes

Yo mama

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

Fat

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Mama

Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"

Temperature

The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”

Earthquake

One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

Fat

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.

Weight

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Note

You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!

Bathroom scale

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.

- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.

- Oh...that might actually be even easier.

Mama

Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.

Bedtime

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

Yo mama

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."