A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attatched to his nutty wuttys. Its driving me nuts! A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says problem??
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
IF YOU DON'T SHUT RIGHT NOW YOUR GONNA LOOSE YOUR SHIRT!!!
Get it?
What did the dog say when he got it's tail caught in the door?
It won't be long now...
What did the window say to the door?
What are you squeaking about, I'm the one with the panes!
Get it?
Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.
Please no harsh comments toward each other.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock in the eye so bad!
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
knock knock whos there? banana banana who orange orange who orange you glad i didnt say banana again
a mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car and passenger asked where are we going and the mexican says im not driving the drunk guy
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
What do you say to your pet when your super tired, slow, and worn out?
I'm totally dogging it today...
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
So a girl says your so ugly to me and she says “I’m the prettiest girl” I say “yea a pretty girl for a ogre 👹”
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
Long though sea.
