I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out. "He doesn't love me anymore!!" The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because ,most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis' the officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test
i saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' tshirt so i said "286lb"
I saw a emo orphan by a tree and I was going to give it a high-five but instead I just let it hang.➰
I just saw people writing Zoophile, Ailurophile, Dendrophilia in their bio, I thought this is cool but when I wrote Necrophile and Pedophile, Idk why people started hating me as I did something wrong, I was just trying to be cool as them man
when god said let there be light he saw ur mum and said let there be dark
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea then Asked for his parents. God orphanages are fun to work at!!
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain."
I don't see why people say that emo kid doesn't like to hangout I saw them hanging all day.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mothers day card for his mum. The second he saw it he burst out crying...
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot and then they bumbed him know he called them the talkwakers
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw, The retarded kid yells see,saw because he sees a saw
I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red
I had to go to my friends house... I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... IS MY FRIEND OK???
I went to the store and i saw no oranges and i went to ask the cashier:cashier:which one
I robbed a person in a wheelchair, he cried and said: "you can run but you cant hide". I ran and i never saw him again
The day I saw people asking lebron James whether he liked to play basketball, my thoughts be like : wait so Lebron James is gay cuz he likes to play with them balls.
When I saw your hare line I thought you worked at McDonald’s
