I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.
I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
I don't see why people say that emo kid doesn't like to hangout I saw them hanging all day.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.
