orphans are so unwanted, that when one direction saw one, it went the other direction
My friend saw ur forehead and realised ur gay
My forehead blew up because I saw urs at the forehead shop
I Saw A Helicopter On January 26, 2020 Then Kobe Was On The News
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Guy it was so weird yesterday I saw a guy and he kept repeating the same thing over and over I hate people with dementia I told my mom to get a new mirror but she she won’t listen to me it’s almost like I sand it like 20 times every time I say it
Oh Hey guys do u know I saw a guy with dementia oh hey guys do u know I saw a guy with dementia oh hey do u know I saw a guy with dementia
A man died and went to heaven, everytime you cheat you get a worse car, the first man cheated 5 times he got a jeep, the second man cheat 3 times he got a BMW, the third man never cheated he got a Lamborghini, the second man saw the third man sad he said "why are you sad" the third man said "I saw my wife with a scooter".
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick she said we are family... even though you're bigger than me.
A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!" Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*" Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"
*Insert me starting a war in the comments*
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
I saw an orphan on the street i said where’s your parents he cried and said my mum and dad died in a car crash 😆😆😂😂🤣
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out. "He doesn't love me anymore!!" The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because ,most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis' the officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test
i saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' tshirt so i said "286lb"
I saw a emo orphan by a tree and I was going to give it a high-five but instead I just let it hang.➰