Sale jokes
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
Who wants to buy my new NFT?
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!