Said jokes

The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.

That's a big word for a 6 year old!

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

Some people put zodiacs on everything.

They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?

"Sum ting wong."

I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.

A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."

He went home, his parents weren't there.

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."