Sad jokes

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Answer: Depresso.

Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.

What do you call a sad coffee?

Despresso.

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.

Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?

To drown herself.

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.

If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

He doesn't know where home is.

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?

Because there were no more planes.

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."

The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”

Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?

Because their parents were in a jam.

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.

Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!