Runner jokes
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What is speedrunner's favorite type of food? FAST FOOD!
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
What mountain do runners race on?
Mount Rushmore.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”
I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.