There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes. When she got the puppy, he was nice. But the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually the parents got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food you know.” The parents only answered with “oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy..he won’t need feeding for years.”
When I was 17 my mom’s door was always locked I wonder what she was doing
I have a twin towers model in my room. It got infested with jumping spiders
Why go across town when u can go across the hall?
What do you call a room with no doors?
When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents. " Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white." The mother rushes the boy to the hospital while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm. "How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" He exclaims. The wife looks up at him. "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection."
One day a lady and her husband we re talking and it was time for dinner he got up and sat at the dinning room table and the lady brang the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him ,what s this he said (the lady said a piece of shit ....honey! Wants some water to drink
there is a room of men jamal, david and afzul. "jamal is black", "david is white" and "afzul is a pakistani" -who set of the bomb-
afzul its clearly him cause hes a pa...
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up. Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb.*waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
The kid with a gun walked into my class room and fucking shot the teacher. He pointed the gun at me and asked,
"What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey at least he gets free food.
A French, a German and an Italian make a race to who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, which after a quarter of an hour comes out. Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally the Italian enters who comes out after five hours. The French: "But how did you do it?" The Italian: "I killed one." The German: "So what?" The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans. When she gets home his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes of the blind fold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on there nose singing happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there
one day little Johnny came home with his girlfriend and told his dad "were gonna go to my room and do some homework" and his dad said ok 5 minutes later little Johnny's dad heard noises coming from his room so he went to go see what it was and all he heard was "baby baby oh baby baby oh" little Johnny's dad started banging on the door and said "little Johnny what are you doing in there" then little Johnny said "dad were just having sex" then little Johnny's dad said " oh i thought you were listing to some Justin bibber up in here
How do you break an orphans wall in their room in the orphanage? Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
son: dad im gay dad: i support you son: i like you dad: get out and into my room
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?" "Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist so I mounted up and screwed her senseless." "Oh, so you're here to get neutered?" "Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
