Ronaldo

Ronaldo jokes

Son

  • Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

    Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

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    Game

  • It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.

    As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!

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    Rip-off

  • "I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

    -Al Nassr owner

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  • Ucl

  • Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups! - 13th in the league!

    Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league. - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL.

    Who's supposed to be the goat?

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    Laptop

  • I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

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  • Fraud

  • I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

    Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

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  • Career

  • OFFICIAL

    Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked!

    1. Neymar gave me a career. 2. Lewandowski finished me. 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche. 5. I am a fraud (ft. Pyllian Mpappe) 6. 10m 7. I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo. 9. Long live Bolivia. 10. Wind man

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    Homophobia

  • And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

    Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

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