What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
Let's rock and roll!
Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
Why don't we keep the balls rolling?
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk tp the nearest gas station a few miles back. One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
