Riddles
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What's long, black, and sticky?
A stick.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
What's black and white?
History.
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
I for the class?
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.