Rest jokes
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
I love sleep 🛏!
What time is it when you get home? Time to sleep.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
What is a good night? Sleep tight, I have four.
I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...
I love going to sleep at night.
What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?