If a kid refused to go to bed, dus that make them gilty of risisting a rest
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on called a day off?
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued your blood was delectable and so was the rest of you.
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girls vagina. Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein and they got married and had children who were all named minion. Eventually the rest of his family died and pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were “I have finally ‘peared’ the consequences of all my actions.”
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen......to clean the rest of the house
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
The undertakers famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents but really they don't rest in peace the only peace they get is the from God
There are 5 cows in a field 1 of them is the mom the rest are kids one of the kids walked up to the mom and asked why am I named Daisy and then a daisy fell on her head, The 2econt cow came up to the mom and asked why am I named rose and then a rose fell on her head, then the 3rd cow said why am I named violet then a violet fell on her head then the 4th cow walked up and said merrrbere then the mom said shutup sinderblock
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What's the good news? "We managed to save his arm." "What's the bad news?" "We couldn't save the rest of him."
What happens when you throw an underaged boy between two catholic priests? They fight and... You know the rest.
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
stephen hawking rest in pc world
why take a nap on the toilet because it's a rest-room
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot how many are there still on the fence
None the rest fly away
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."
