Response

Response Jokes

Sadness

What do you do when you're sad?

Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.

Shot

A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."

Shampoo

I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Girl

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

Call

You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?

Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"

Question

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

Comeback

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

Train Driver

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

Comeback

Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."

Pole

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? Iโ€™m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

Orphan

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Boy

Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.

Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."

Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"

"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."

"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"

Grandma

Grandma isnโ€™t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.

Which do you choose?

Lady

This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."

Rape

Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.

Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)

Comeback

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

Keyboard

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.