Religion jokes

What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?

"My bum hurts."

Yo mama so OLD...

Her first Christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!

I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.

Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!

Why did the orphan go to church?

To finally call someone father. 😂😂

What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.

What did the priest say to the skunk?

Let us spray.

Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.

Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.

What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!

Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.

The orphans all died!!!

Oh wait, no one cares...

Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.

There are "nun" good jokes.

The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

What is the difference between a priest and a zit?

The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.

What does a priest and a clown have in common?

They both make children cry.

What is a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.

Thank the Lord for my two huge balls!