What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
Religion Jokes
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Thank the Lord for my two huge balls!
The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.
During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!
Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
Like if you love God and Jesus.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A Christler.
Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?
Because she has to get on her knees.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
Even your mother can never fix your hairline, just God.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
