Religion jokes
What do you call a Christian Asian?
Hao Li.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
The Virgin Mobile.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.