Relatives jokes
Your family.
At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
Sex has no feeling with our cousin. Because both are relative.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
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I want some loser no-lifer girlfriend. Here are my preferences: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
smelly, always says she's pheromone maxxing, not fart-or-poop-smelly tho, just all-the-other-parts-smelly if you get me
crusty skin, oily hair, green armpit gas and flies around her, bad breath, people around her would normally gag (but she doesn't go out so the only physical real human she knows is me)
hating show… Read more
i blame the jews for a bunch of things. especially cherry tomatoes, the weekend, nuclear fission, both theories of relativity and more.
Dear Sarah,
Your last comment was 3 days ago. You use your phone about 3-4 hours daily. You have a boyfriend, and possibly are in the field of medicine, although I can't be sure. You're right handed. (By "possibly" in the field of medicine I mean you don't seem to be in it yet, but you may be working towards it.) Ok, so you're definitely not in the field yet and are most likely in high school. You like horror, and y… Read more