Relatives jokes
Your family.
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
Sex has no feeling with our cousin. Because both are relative.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
Community
One moth ago, on November the twenty fifth, I spoke to someone who I could just talk and talk and talk to. And that person could talk and talk and talk back to me. While that person does have a fondness for yapping, something was just different. She could open up to me about things she kept hidden, and I, the same. I felt like I got something from a talking to that person that I didn’t get out of anyone else. And th… Read more
I want some loser no-lifer girlfriend. Here are my preferences: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
smelly, always says she's pheromone maxxing, not fart-or-poop-smelly tho, just all-the-other-parts-smelly if you get me
crusty skin, oily hair, green armpit gas and flies around her, bad breath, people around her would normally gag (but she doesn't go out so the only physical real human she knows is me)
hating show… Read more
i blame the jews for a bunch of things. especially cherry tomatoes, the weekend, nuclear fission, both theories of relativity and more.