Redneck jokes
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
Couy.
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan.
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
What is a redneck virgin?
A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.