What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve?
Answer: Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
What happens if a redneck is bisexual? Do they go for their brother or sister?
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
What is a redneck virgin? A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers
What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!
What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!
What is the state of Texas for? Guns!
What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)
What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!
What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?
What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!
What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
What do rednecks and deaf people have in common?
Don’t care wtf you say or listen to shit you say😂
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.
