Red Jokes

A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Once I'm done choking you,

You will be too.

Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

A: To hide up cherry trees.

Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A: Giraffes eating cherries.

Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.

Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!

What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!

What's both red, white and sometimes purple?

My arms...

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

An apple walked into the clinic.

The doctor asked what his favorite color was.

The apple said "red." :)

roses are red violets are blue that joke is old just like you.

Rose are red velvet is blue so are they

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.

Roses are red Violets are blue I know a pedophile And he says he knows you

What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?

A corpse, of course!

what's black and red and is a liquid?

my scars!

What's black and white and red all over?

A police brutality case.

I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"

What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?

A baby playing with a scalpel.

Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?

So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?