Real jokes

The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.

Kid #1: You're adopted.

Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.

Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.

*You're a real best Gwen*

Guy feels something on his back.

“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”

“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”

A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"

He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.

The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."

Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”

No? Shame, it was real fun.

I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.

Because obviously she doesn’t listen.

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

What do you call a chair with a hat?

I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?