Ran jokes

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

He got ran over by a bus.

One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."

What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?

When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.

You're so ugly your hairline ran away!

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

Your hairline is so far back, even Shaggy and Scooby ran away!

Anyone got any new jokes? I ran through all the pages already.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?

Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"