Rabbit Jokes

So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.

He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.

Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"

The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."

The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.

So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.

What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?

Fucks funny.

A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.

Why wasn’t the rabbit jumping?

Because he was dead.

How do rabbits travel?

By hareplane.

What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?

A receding hairline.

What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?

A horse can't hoop.

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

what do a turtle and a pedophile have in common they both try to get there before the hair does.

Where did my rabbit go?

*crunch*

Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O

What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?

Raisins.

Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?

Bunny hair.

What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?

Bugs Bunny!

What would you name your pet rabbit?

Harry.

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.

Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.

Where do rabbits sleep?

In the junkyard outside.

You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.