Questions jokes

Halloween

  • Hey guys, I have a question.

    Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?

    Visa

  • I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

    The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

  • 1
  • Question

  • Confusion life question!!!

    * Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

    Kahoot

  • Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*

    Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*

    A question: When is (my name) happy?

    Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*

    Answer: Never, only a portion.

    Friend: Do you need help?

    Homework

  • I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

    Compliment

  • Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?

    Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"

  • 1
  • Paint

  • Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

    Scarecrow

  • My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

    So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

    In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

  • 1
  • Day

  • Hey guys, how was your day?

    If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

    I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

    Murder

  • Today my idiot brother screamed, "Ahhhhh, I'm dead!" But it wasn't really, so I decided to make it a reality until my sister came...

    AND HELPED ME! - for once, but then two minutes later my mom showed up. We killed him right in front of her, and she screamed! "Donuts and pizza for you and more if you go to Mrs. Roberts' house and say hi and bye to Daddy!!!!!" And she hands us both a sharp tool, and I say, "What about Tommy??!!! Aren't you MAD!!!!!!!" Then she replied, "Who's THAT!!??? Coz he ain't mine. His name is Tommy, Tommy Roberts."

    So then me and my sister visit Mrs. Roberts, and she said, "Oh, this isn't anything important. Go home!" So then my sister and I say hi! and do a countdown. After that my Nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR, MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL! 😊😊😊 But then the police question us where daddy was, so then Mom said....................... oh he's moved on! So then the police officer was like, "Ahem, ma'm where!" SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................

    ok like for part two☺☺☺

    Teacher

  • So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

    A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

  • 1
  • Poacher

  • The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.

    The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.

    The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.

    The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."

    This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."

  • 1