Putin jokes
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
Putin's Brain:
What is the difference between Putin and an onion?
Nobody cries because of a cut Putin.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Lmao Trump and Putin dislike my jokes! 🤣😂
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?
"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.