Push jokes

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."

Your hairline is so pushed back, it's looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?

Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.

Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.

Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.