Indian guy and American guy in a wheelchair met in a Bar for drinks. American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk. Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean and North Korean all walk into a bar
The Landlord says "why the same faces lads".
“Poor old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink. The gentleman asked, “So how many have you caught today?
”The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
This is why they dont want to sell the double manhattan in pubs anymore
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke
A man walks into a bar and say I'm feeling depressed what do you have to cheer me up? The bartender replied: a shotgun
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time
two terrorists walk into a bar and the bartender says what can i get you the terrorists both say a beer the baretender overhears them talking that they will 300 people and a donkey the baretender says why a donkey and one terrorist says c i told you no one would care about the people
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Steven hawkins walks into a bar oh wait
Guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells:who the fuck fucked my wife. Everybody silent for a second then the bartender said:mate you ain't got enough bullets
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says "we've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says "seriously? Why would you name a drink named Callum?"
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches , I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish !
Then there is a bear , he thinks if that fly drops six inches , that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish !
This huntsman also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps up , bear runs out eats the fish . I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear .
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse , who also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps , bear runs , huntsman shoots ,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket !!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile ..,
there’s This cat !!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings ...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches . Fish jumps up . Bear grabs the fish . Huntsman shoots the fucking bear ,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE !!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat Slips over him ( stacks it ) cat falls in the river ...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS .............
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet )
WALLOP ... try remembering all that in A pub pissed . Xx
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂
A dwarf walks into a bar.He ask for a shot of whiskey.The bartender gives him the 🥃 and it turn into a gallon of whiskey.The bartender sees this and takes it back and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says “what’s the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks? “ The man says “it’s not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place.”
a man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells who the fuck fucked my wife. The bartender answers "Mate you ain't got enough bullets."
