New Project Jokes

Voting is like doing a group project in school

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up

regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist

Me: I'm depressed so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain

So the other day my black friend work are group project he was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on

I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed

I told my mom to get rope for a project and when she got home I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/202755363

i asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school and she said oh go look in the bathroom above the sink.........there was a mirror

A project where people get lined up to be changed

Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project? Work came to a grinding halt.

U wanna hear a construction joke? I'm still workin on it!😂

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew tumed up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5.year.old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and ll spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. 'mey chatted with her, let her slt with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little lobs to do here and there to make her feel Important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a poy envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $1 0 'pay ' to the bank the next day to start a savings account When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally Impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'l worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.' 'Oh, my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week, too?' The little girl replied, 'l will, it those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the tucking sheet rock '

Why do orphan got 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? because it was family tree project

(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1. Did you bring Uranus?

Kid 2. Never leave home without it.

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400..some day. No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages. $15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe. 50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving. Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports. New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects. Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up. Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sisters Jenga kit”

The principles office smells nice

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.