Problem jokes
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it could not find home.
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
Help me...
What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.
Why can't orphans become famous?
Because it will become easier for Technoblade to track them down.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."