Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Priest Jokes
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.
What's the difference between Axne and a priest??
One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?
So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.
