Back
President

President jokes

Ford

What did President Ford say when he met Betty?

"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."

Coronavirus

As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...

Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"

Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"

Russia

I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.

Memes

President memes

Wall

Why does Trump build a wall?

There’s such a thing as a ladder.

Government

A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”

Penis

This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.

Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.

USA

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

Joe Biden

You know how Joe Biden is happy?

When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.

Hair

You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.

Job

Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!