President jokes
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
Why does Trump play Minecraft?
'Cause he can build walls.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
What's long, hard, and full of semen?
Answer: Me.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
What's the difference between Trump and a Cheez-It cracker?
The cracker is naturally orange.
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
America get pranked lol.
Biden's penis is probably as big as the Twin Towers right now.
Oh wait...
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.