The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
Are you a toaster?
'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
Charger: Yo, Phone.
Phone: Yeah?
Charger: Can I plug all in you?
Phone: Ayooo!
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
Butt plug, oh butt plug, get out of me.
Butt plug, oh butt plug, get in my mouth, oh how I wanna taste you.
Oh, butt plug, oh butt plug, something is nutty.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"
