Plane jokes
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
You know what I told my little brother plane?
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
Why did the 767 fly into the towers?
Because a310 dared it to.
What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!
Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?
Because there were no more planes.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
What color was the plane after it hit the tower?
It was all black inside (Martin Luther King Junior).
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.
The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."
One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.
Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."
"I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."